Project: Metalbeast (1995)

Posted in Movie & Theater on April 09 2020 at 03:22 PM

Sometimes you just gotta go with a goofy title.

Something about this film (film review from "write my essay for me" service). Here we are, then, in 1974, when a crack covert team (two people plus the guy manning the rowboat) sneak into Hungary to get blood from a werewolf to make the perfect soldier (is Hungary famous for lycanthropy?). One guy dies, the other makes it back to the Super-Secret Military Base and gives the blood to Bad-To-The-Bone Government Guy (Barry Bostwick, the mayor on Spin City), who warns him: "The blood will kill anyone injected with it."

So soldier guy sneaks in that night and injects himself with it. Lo and behold, he becomes a mangy werewolf! After he munches a couple of staff members, Government Guy shoots him with silver bullets and sticks his body in a cryonic tube.

Fast-forward twenty years: A pre-stardom Kim Delany is part of another military project making a metal-based synthetic skin called "bio-ferron", which she believes will be used for burn victims, cancer patients, and other deserving people. (Oh, yeah -- the military's really into funding humanitarian research.) Then Government Guy takes over control of the project, and gives them a certain body out of cryogenic storage to use for testing grafts. The medical team gets the body mostly covered with the synthetic skin (dang, it's hardening to a steel-like consistency again -- is this a side-effect of basing it on metal, maybe?) before they discover several silver bullets in the man. They pry them out, and everything proceeds just like you think it does, with Kane Hodder as "The Metalbeast."

The main problem here is not the premise of "invulnerable werewolf"; if we've rented something called "Project: Metalbeast," we're obviously looking for something goofy. But the pacing is all off: the 1974 prologue takes too much time, bickering with Government Guy takes too much time, leaving not enough time for the stalking scenes to make this the Alien pastiche that the producers apparently intended.

That's apart from the other implausibilities: That no reinforcements are called in when the Metalbeast escapes, that the general is taking his orders from Government Guy (a colonel), and that an improbably beautiful doctor like Kim Delany would be hanging out with these toads doing super-secret research instead of something more glamorous.

Overall, not great, but okay to laugh at.

Comments (0)

No login